Hinge is a popular dating app where potential partners are matched through their existing connections on Facebook.
At first glance, this seems to be a particularly safe way to meet a romantic partner online…but beware.
Just because you have friends in common on Facebook does not mean your date is all they seem or even a safe person.
Shared interests can mean you have friends in common but those friends may not even be people you’ve ever met. They could be members of a local band you’ve been to see, or people who run a local business you like.
So keep your wits about you and check out these red flags.
- 1. They can’t understand why you want to be careful about where you meet – if your date is perplexed that you don’t want them to come to your house or why you don’t want to meet at a dodgy bar, then don’t date them. This shows either extreme naivety or a deliberate attempt to undermine your boundaries. Neither is attractive!
- 2. Talks about their ex a lot – it’s one thing to mention them in passing if asked, but if they keep referring back to them or telling you about how crazy or mean they were, then tread with extreme caution. They’re not over their ex and there’s a chance they’re getting their story in first because in fact it was them who was unreasonable.
- 3. Likes everything you like – in fact they love it. That’s a good sign they’re trying too hard to please you and attempt to convince you that they’re the ideal partner. People with a well-rounded personality aren’t shy of showing their own preferences.
- 4. Immediately uses pet names – it’s ok to be called babe or gorgeous sometimes if you’re comfortable with that but not right away. If they’re doing that on the first date, they probably do it with all dates.
- 5. Relates everything you say back to themselves – you know the type, you tell a story about how you won an award and they immediately counter with the time they won one. There’s nothing wrong with sharing experiences but some people feel the need to match everything everyone else does. That’s not a good sign and usually means they’re insecure.
- 6. Complains about service – and not in a polite way. The type of people we’re talking about here are the ones who think everything is below standard, from the food to the way the waiter looked at them. Don’t feel uncomfortable in this situation, just leave!
Remember, the first date is your chance to get to know someone just a little more. It’s not a huge test and it’s not something that you should invest in too heavily.
It’s meant to be fun and you should feel relaxed if it’s going well. If you feel anxious during the date, it’s fine to leave. You don’t have to put up with bad behaviour or rudeness.
When it comes to people refusing to put up with bad behaviour, Whitney Wolfe Herd is one person we should all look to.
The one-time Tinder marketing executive had a hard time when her relationship with fellow Tinder co-founders Justin Mateen and Sean Rad went South.
She’d been dating Mateen, it went sour and he turned on her. That’s when Rad should have stepped up as CEO of Tinder and made sure she felt safe at work – only he didn’t and it resulted in him losing his CEO position and Tinder having to settle out of court for Wolfe Herd’s distress.
Since then, there’s been a veritable deluge of suits relating to Tinder and in 2019, Rad was in hot water for secretly recording employees in an attempt to catch them saying something incriminating related to his lawsuit about the actual worth of Tinder stocks and what he says he was told they were worth.
Rad’s reputation has never been the best – not since his run-in with Wolfe Herd anyway! Nancy Jo Sales also had a few things to say about him after he mentioned her in a scathing manner.
Perhaps Rad needs to learn how to treat people who know how to look after themselves?